iCan't See the Stupid Dipper Thing
by Kaumana
Summary: Why does it matter if I can't see the stupid constellation? I can see you, which is way more important than the stars. cam one-shot


Note: I advise you to listen to The Only Exception by Paramore as you read this.

* * *

_When I was younger  
I saw my daddy cry  
And curse at the wind  
He broke his own heart  
And I watched  
As he tried to reassemble it  
And my momma swore that  
She would never let herself forget  
And that was the day that I promised  
I'd never sing of love  
If it does not exist_

God, Carls. I don't know why you like coming here so much. My mother is hardly here, which should be a good thing, but it just reinforces the emptiness in this house. In the living room, there are chairs, where people used to sit. A man, a woman, and a girl. But the man left and the woman stayed. The girl got older and learned how to pretend not to care.

Whenever you're over, I just drag you into my room. There's no reason to venture into a house full of lost memories. I want to just go to your apartment but you say that you enjoy the "Samness" of my room. Fine. We can stay. Don't pay attention to that crumpled up old family photo in my desk drawer. Put it down. No, I wasn't cute when I was a baby.

_But darling  
__You are the only exception._

I actually enjoy being in my own house. With you, of course. It's boring when I'm alone. Your presence makes the vacancy here not as bad. Stop it. You know I hate that. Stop smiling at me like that. Like I'm the most important person in the world. When you do this I have no choice but to stare back at you with an idiot grin on my face.

_Maybe I know, somewhere  
Deep in my soul  
That love never lasts  
And we've got to find other ways  
To make it alone  
Or keep a straight face  
And I've always lived like this  
Keeping a comfortable distance  
And up until now  
I had sworn to myself that I'm content  
With loneliness  
Because none of it was ever worth the risk_

That's what you like best about this place. My room has a balcony.

"Come on. Let's go look at the stars."

Do I really have to? They're just stupid stars. Not magical at all. Just stupid twinkly balls of gas in the sky.

"Look at the stars on your own time Shay. I'm getting ham."

I try to leave the room but you're already grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the balcony. You can be forceful when you want to be.

"Looking at the stars by yourself is silly."

Looking at the stars at all is silly. You would use a word like silly and then make me use it too. This further supports the fact that I no longer own the control of myself. The other is that I'm out here in the stupid cold, wanting ham, with my neck craned up so I can see these shiny things that you're so exited about.

_Well you are the only exception_

I want to see what you see. I really do. I want to know why this is so beautiful.

"Look, Sam! The big dipper!"

You ever realize that that's the only constellation anyone seems to see?

"I don't see it."

You grab my hand to get my attention. As if you didn't have it already. Maybe that's why I didn't see the dipper thing. I was looking at you instead of the stars. Your guiding hand slinks past my face and points to the sky.

"It's right…. there."

I squint. Still nothing. I keep looking because I know you want me to.

"AHA! I see it!"

"You're lying to me."

I grab your hand tighter so you can't slip away.

"Okay, okay. Maybe this will help me see."

I feel you shiver as I move behind you and lay my head on your shoulder. Haha, I told you it was freezing. Cupcake, I don't think placing my hands around your waist helps me see better. Hmm… you smell like strawberries. Great, now I'm hungry again but I know you won't let me go back into my own house.

"Sam….. are you even looking at the stars anymore?"

Huh? What? I have to pull my face out of your neck in order to speak. You must smell better than I thought. Strawberries sound really good right now.

"Yeah…. well, you're kinda prettier than that dipper thing…."

_I've got a tight grip on reality, but I can't  
Let go of what's in front of me here  
I know you're leaving in the morning, when you wake up  
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream_

"Why is that dipper so important? I'm out here with you so this matters most. Everything's cool."

You're looking at me out of the corner of your eye. I would much rather prefer staring at the reflections of stars in your eyes than actually look at them. Can I just do that? Are you gonna allow me? No. Because you're closing your eyes now.

_You are the only exception_

You did it. You did. And now you're looking at me like it doesn't matter. You laugh awkwardly and break from my arms to go back into the house. Yeah.

"It was just like to make fun of those romance scenes in those stupid sappy movies."

Yet, you look like you want to beat your head against the wall for letting it happen. You shouldn't feel that way. You should have the butterflies like I always do.

_And I'm on my way to believing_

"Cupcake? I didn't find the big dipper."

"I know."

"But I did find the guts to tell you something."

"What?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Sam."

"No, I mean like I'm in love with you."

_Oh, and I'm on my way to believing_

God, Carls. Stop smiling at me like that.

* * *

Authors's Note:I'm sorry I haven't updated "iKeep Running In Circles" in a while. First I was bombarded with homework by teachers and then my cable and internet (both from Comcast) went out. So I made this one-shot to sort of ease the pain until I put up the next chapter. I kinda like this one. I think I did kind of good. The song is The Only Exception by Paramore. WOO! GO PARAMORE!  
(Also, I think you should just know that I stayed up till six in the morning writing this so I NEED BED NOW!)  
[p.s. if you didn't get it Carly kissed Sam.]


End file.
